Why isn't Heather posting anymore?

Hi! It's been six months and sixteen days since I posted "Heather reacts to: "Las 7 búsquedas más perturbadoras hechas en Google", by DrossRotzank", six months with a lot of things to show and a lot of things to tell.

Probably all of you have forgotten about me and this blog and... yeah, it's actually quite legitimate: I had forgotten about it too. I just wanted to tell you I'm writing another blog, the one for fourth of ESO. It's called Littlest Things, and you can find it here. If you're interested in it and you check it out, you will find some tasks we do on English class as well as some thoughts, opinions and stuff I post.

There's a huge difference between Heathereia and Littlest Things, though. The first aim of Heathereia was to be a humor blog, with random humor stories and not really much at all to tell, while Littlest Things has the objective of expressing thoughts and opinions, wrecking stereotypes (or, at least, telling how useless they are) and, if it can be done, add some humor with irony and sarcasm.

Heather reacts to: "Las 7 búsquedas más perturbadoras hechas en Google", by DrossRotzank

Hi! Welcome to my second "Heather reacts to"! First of all, I want you to know two thinks about the entry you're about to read: 1. The video I'm using as a reference is not in English, though you will understand what I mean even without seeing the video. 2. This is not a humor entry: it's a little thought about what some people wants and looks for in the Internet (I include myself in that collective of people) and other modes of entertainment.

I'll try to gradually change the topic so I can get into the specific thing I wanted to talk about. I'll maybe do it wrong enough to look like a retard, sorry for that.

So, this is the video:

If you've seen it by now, I'm sure you thought something like "maybe these searches on Google are critical and perhaps a little bit sad because of the situation the people who searches it has to be in, but they are not scary at all". That's what I specially wanted to talk about today: we don't just want horror, we want that our curiosity forces us to look for scary things so we can get scared enough to suffer.

I know, maybe this is getting a little bit difficult to understand if you didn't see the video. Let me explain it: the author, Dross, shows us some popular Google searches that are a little bit shocking since "How to abort a baby at home", for example, is not searched by someone who is not in a really critical situation. Dross call these kind of searches "disturbing". I won't say they are not, but I'm pretty sure if someone watches a video called "The 7 most disturbing searches on Google", they're looking for scary things.

What I mean is that, in my opinion (I've followed Dross since long ago and he has shown really scary things), this video was specially disappointing: and I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who thinks like this. We're acostumated to see things just much more scary than poor people searching how to auto-sex-change theirselves: we don't care about disgrace of the others, we want the adrenaline of the K-Fee Commercials, the mystery of The Cursed Cleenex Commercial of 1961, the fear of Smile.dog and the Jumpscare of Jeff the Killer. We don't want to get surprised, we just want to be scared enough to not sleep anymore in our lives!

If you're not one of this collective, you sure are thinking something like "I can't see the point of this, they just want to suffer?" Here's the point: me neither. But, wait, let's move to another popular topic: TV. And, the question is: "Heather, what's wrong with TV?" Ok, here's the answer: it makes me want to cry that people sees TV programmes that actually make them cry. I mean, what's the point of it? You see some actor or actress pretending to die just to suffer for a character that, in most cases, doesn't even exist? WHAT?

What I mean is that (I know I'm using these words too much) people takes $#lT as it was a masterpiece: look at, for example, Clannad. It's the most frigging boring anime series I've ever seen and, guess what, it's considered one of the best animes ever... I give up on humanity.

So, if you want to enjoy, take ENTERTAINMENT MEDIA as ENTERTAINMENT and stop swallowing lacrymogenic stuff: just because everyone says it is a masterpiece, doesn't mean it is. If somethings makes you cry and doesn't help you at all, just stop doing it! Have your own criterion! Don't pretend to like something just because everyone likes it!

I know, I don't express my opinion well. Hope you understood, if it was possible to understand...

The Opinion Corner #1: Anorexia-Making Stereotypes

Hi! First of all, I wanted you to know that this entry is going to contain some swearing words (censored, of course) since, as you know, I love to rage a lot. I thought about a nice method to censor them: change a vowel and put the whole word in bold (so slot and slot don’t get confusing).

So today I wanted to talk about something which is very common to talk about: what society does us all think about fatness.

To start with a subjective point of view, I could say that I’m not the kind of girl that likes muscular guys or even fit guys (embracing someone hard is like embracing a pole, don’t you think so?). Actually, is pretty weird that I fall in love with a guy since I like things like this (call it what you want, it’s neither a paraphilia nor a fetish since I can like humans), which is not very common. Before you ask, I had a human boyfriend and he was actually unhealthily fat. I told him that would be pretty healthy for him to get a little fitter, but I promised him that if he got fit enough to be hard to the touch I would leave him (of course our relationship wasn’t based on physical appearance, what kind of butch did you think I was?) and, guess what, he agreed. Sadly, he hadn’t got Internet anymore since some weeks ago and distance relationships depend on that kind of things… Aaaanyway, I’m not here to talk about my first love! The thesis that I want to show from my opinion is basically: “embracing someone hard to the touch is like embracing a pole”. What I mean that being healthily chubby is possible and it could be sexy, of course. And it’s not OK to criticize someone for being fat or chubby.

But, what does society show us? You can’t count all the times I’ve listened words like “you shutty fat” or “you fat slot” just walking through the schoolyard. Basically, people conceive that fat people is not “statically OK” or simply “not healthy” which, as I have already shown, it’s totally false. People just swallow what popular things such as MTV show them without thinking what the people they are insulting could think or if what they are saying is true for everyone. I think they should say “not according to my physical likes” or “mostly unhealthy” instead of the non-thought shut they usually poke in the shape of words.

I have nothing against people that like super-skinny girls such as Nicki Minaj or Apollo guys such as David Beckham. But people have to know that everyone can be loved by everyone! I mean, a chubby guy can be loved by a “Nicki Minaj” and a chubby gal can be loved by a “David Beckham”, of course!

Share your opinions by comment (because I want to know)!

Random Heather #2: Self Interview

Hi! This is the introduction, but I went without ideas for it. Just read the title lol.

H: Hi!
H: Hi!
H: So... What do you think about... I don't know... Your English teacher?
H:

H: And that means...?
H: "Liek, o mah gawsh!"
H: O... K. So, what do you like to do in your free time?
H: Rage a lot.
H: And... What kind of music do you like?
H: I think the video above (Liek o mah gawsh) is the best song I've ever heard.
H: And why did you start with this blog?
H: Because I was bored and... First I wanted to make it just to curse off haters and say to them the stuff you can see in the video below. But then the "funny stories" project came and I thought just raging was better. I get funny when I rage, I'm that random.

H: Please, no more Total Drama videos.
H: :'(
H: No! More! T.D.! Videos!
H: "More T.D. Videos"? Okay!

 H: ...
 H:  Best song ever.
 H: Anyway, let's carry on with this interview.
 H: Bye!
 H: Don't you go now!

Ok, I'm not that great to interview... By the way, it was a positive "Liek o mah gawsh", it means you're cool.

Heather's Top 25: Best Songs of All Time!

Hi! Welcome to my first top 25! In this top: Best Music of All Time!

25. The Pussycat Dolls - Hush Hush; Hush Hush
24. Florence + The Machine - Galaxy of The Lost
23. Muse - Unnatural Selection
22. Britney Spears - ... One More Time
21. Lily Allen - Everyone's At It
20. Lily Allen - Never Gonna Happen
19. Amaral - El Universo Sobre Mí
18. Florence + The Machine - Only if For a Night
17. DJ HMX & Plural - Cool Baby
16. Gossip - Involved
15. Marina & The Diamonds - Primadonna
14. Marina & The Diamonds - Bubblegum Bitch
13. Gossip - Perfect World
12. Britney Spears - Womanizer
11. Alex Gaudino ft. Kelly Rowland - What a Feeling
10. Katie Melua - If You Were a Sailboat
9. Britney Spears - Toxic
8. Lily Allen - Who'd Have Known
7. Katie Melua - The Flood
6. Gossip - Love in a Foreign Place
5. Florence + The Machine - Spectrum
4. Katie Melua - I Cried For You
3. Chris Child - Place in The Sun
2. Katie Melua - A Happy Place
1. Florence + The Machine - What the Water Gave Me

Hope you loved the songs as I do.

Flash Game: Staggering Beauty

How to play: shake the black thing ( :D ).





Hope you have a lot of fun with it lol.

Heather reacts to: Mr. Ando of the Woods

Hi! In this world, there are some things that are really weird, some things which origin cannot even be explained... Today, in this blog, you're going to see a VERY weird thing... I mean, a VERY weird thing... I'm talking about Mr. Ando of the Woods.

I can't even understand why Japanese people make so weird things as kissing doors or playing Yume Nikki (if you don't know what it is don't search it, save yourself), but this takes the cake. It can make you laugh a lot or it can scare you a lot. It's funny anyway (lol).

So, here it is, Mr. Ando of the Woods:

Well, if you've seen it by now, you sure won't be able to sleep at night anymore. Anyway, I want to make some comments about the video...

0:08 - That faces, what the heck?

0:44 - Oh. My. God. What the hell...? What. The. Hell! Stop that! Oh my god, stop that!

2:28 - Of course, a fish. Sure.

2:51 - No matter the circumstances, no matter the danger, THAT BEE WILL ALWAYS LOOK AT THE VIEWERS!

2:57 - Isn't that Hitler (lol)?

Well, hope that you enjoyed... Or, at least, that you didn't cry so much that got your country flooded.

Random Heather #1: Kinds of Exams

Hi! I'm bored (not a surprise, I'm writing this)! Today, I wanted to write about something that could make a cat barf, something even creepier than Justin Bieber (if it's possible), something even worse than slow Internet!

Of course, I'm talking about
exams
exams
exams
exams
exams!!!!

concretely, I wanted to write about kinds of exams. There are lots of kinds of exams, but I'll write only the most popular ones... First of all, I have to say this classification is not made to offend anyone! It's a humoristic blog entry (even thought it can be taken as a little bit attacking on some parts) and it's meant to be just a joke:

•  Objective exam: have you ever thought about how paradise would look? These exams could show you how it really is. Learnt something? Write it. Just a sentence: no one is going to ask you for your opinion. When you look to the teacher during an exam of this kind it feels like "Yeah, you're the best teacher ever, luv ya" "Yeah, free ten".
• "Why" exam: teachers, I want to ask you a thing: when you ask FOR A SCIENTIFIC FACT on an exam, what is the point of asking whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Is it because you want to see me rage? YOU GET IT!... Buf, I really needed that.
• Opinion exam: "wow, exam day. Let's have one more mark to get this term better"... Error, GREAT ERROR. I hate these, especially when they ask the reason of likes or dislikes. They sure want me to answer something like "I like it because my brain makes dopamine and histamine go to a certain region and I'm emulating my brother's psychological studies on a Spanish exam, now give that ten and go away!" or "I like it because I like it. Epic win". Really, what's the point of asking that? I'm sure Spanish and Catalan teachers do that to make us know that life is very hard (if so, they are really conspirators, wow) or they want us to RAGE!

 Wow, I really got relaxed with that.

Heather reacts to: Cards against Humanity (played by PewDiePie)

Hi! Today I'm here to talk about a video, a very funny video. First of all, I should warn you this video has some explicit content such as words like "tentacle porn" or "necrophilia". If you're not used to catch these kinds of jokes, don't watch the video.

The video is about PewDiePie and his girlfriend Marzia playing a game called "Cards against Humanity". It's recognized as one of the most offensive games because it's full of awkward moments to the players... And it gets somehow really weird... Really.

Well, I think this video is crazy. Pewdie's videos are normally crazy but this one takes the cake. I've been like 8 minutes laughing, I couldn't help it! It's one of the most funny videos I've ever seen!

Humor Story: The Labyrinth of Doom

One day, in a summer evening, a girl was walking through the street when she saw a labyrinth. She felt surprised for it: she never saw a labyrinth there, without any contextual sense… that swallowed the whole neighbourhood!

She decided to enter. The first she saw was an English exam poking exams that were poking even more exams. When she looked closely to one of the exams, she saw that the mark was 9.9. She got so frightened from taking that mark that she ran deeper into the labyrinth shouting very loudly.

In the next room, she saw something even creepier than 9.9 exams: she saw a lot of clones of herself crawling and singing “Toxic” from Britney Spears. Suddenly she felt the temptation to start to crawl and sing as well, but she realised she was Britney Spears so she claimed the rights of the song and the clones got ruined.

In the next room, she sadly discovered she wasn’t Britney Spears anymore –but she didn’t tell it because the rights of “Toxic” gave her a lot of money–. The room was totally empty with a box in the middle. When she opened the box she got surprised: Britney Spears was inside! She was about to ask Britney for an autograph when the singer said:

–You copied me!

So the girl started to run… But Britney Spears was throwing microphones at her! She got hit in the head and whited out.

When she woke up, she was still on the same room. First, she noticed that the room was empty –not even the box was in there– but, then, she got really confused when she noticed she was Beyonce. Then, Britney appeared straight out of the blue and said:

–Let’s have a dance match!

But Beyonce danced so gracefully that Britney went out of date and started to cry, so Beyonce could escape from that room.

In the next room, afraid to find Beyonce, “Beyonce” entered real slowly: she found no one. When she got deeper in the room, she noticed that… she was not Beyonce anymore! Nah, that was a joke: she was still Beyonce but she noticed that there were two worms. Suddenly, the worms turned Britneys and Beyonce whited out.

Suddenly, the girl woke up. She felt lucky that it was all a nightmare.